for nothing
Woke up to the sound of message coming in. It was Randy, texting that he’ll come today at 9pm to get his stuff. Okay. All was okay while I was home, doing my usual morning business and there were my cats and my sister.
Then I closed the door and almost immediately started to cry. Everything’s fucking mess and everybody are only making it worse.
I haven’t had a good nights sleep in… months, I figure. I don’t know how anymore. I start watching my clock at 5am and it goes on ’til 10am. I’m afraid I’ll sleep in. And when it is saturday I usually work too (in July I haven’t had any free weekend and it’s killing me. But I can’t do anything about it so… No need to whine. Right.
Came to work. Tried to talk. Mom called and I bitched wih her.
Went to cafeteria and cried in my food, partly because I couldn’t hold it anymore and partly because I always eat mash potatoes and fucking sauerkraut. And it made me so sad. Don’t know why.
Last night two of my friends managed to make me feel like a prostitute (two sepparate occasions) and that’s a new record I think.
I don’t think I’m able to go through today.
