the viole(n)t afternoons
The Mountain is driving me nuts. For real, I am fucking happy that I soon don’t have to be in the same room with him every day. I tried to ignore him this morning and he came really close and dripped his sweat all over my workstation and my papers. I thought I would die. At this minute.
Then I dodged the bullet again when he tried to lure me into his cave with his funky catch phrase: “I ripped your piece and really loved it, but…” No buts, honey. Deal with it. It seemed he had a problem with the last sentence. I told him to delete it then. “But the story will not have an ending then…” he started to whine. I read it. “But the sentence before last is a good sentence to end the story with also, don’t you think?” Long silence. I assume he tried to read but didn’t find any familiar letters.
So, I escaped. And I have been sitting here all day doing nothing but avoiding him. Haven’t succeeded though - few minutes ago he came with a printout of my other story and asked where is it located, that he doesn’t find it anywhere. I stared at him for like three minutes, then sloooooowly raised my finger and pointed it on the paper, where I had written down the exact location of the file.
Damn him!
And I really haven’t worked today at all. First of all I’m hangovered (again, i know), because last night was the worst night in history. P. got hit by a car while driving here to see me and it was all really surreal.
His fine though, well, considering. Anything isn’t broken and internal organs are fine, but he’s cut and bruised and sewd back together and hurting and when I think about it I want to cry. Of course I haven’t slept at all, crazed of worry. Had nightmares and beautiful dreams too - P. was fine and came to visit me and it felt… good. Woke up to usual lunacy though.
Anyway, here are things that are driving me nuts these days:
- PK. He keeps calling me and I really am too scared to see him again. Last time he lost it, swore his undying love for me and tried to kill someone with an empty bottle. Yap. Not scary at all.
- My work computer. It keeps getting slower and slower and I hate that I don’t have admin-rights to make it all better.
- The Mountain. Oh, I hate The Mountain!
- City. I really would like to see my friends.
- My things. They are everywhere and cleaning up is something I’m not bothered to do at the moment.
- My hangovers. Why do I drink?
- My little sister Grace. She keeps hurting herself by seeing this one guy that is really bad for her. And I can’t do anything about it. If I had money I would try to buy him off. Everyone has a price. That is one thing P. has taught me.
- The guy who’s been writing me those nice and funny and cute letters. Found out there’s a girl. Of course. There is always a girl. He was too good to be true. But - continue writing with him though. He makes me feel all giddy, like i’m 15 again.
- My best friend Shane. She is always working and when she’s not working she is not in the city or when she is in the city she has stuff to do and no time to see me. I hate that. She’s Thelma to my Loise. I need to SEE her, not just hear her.
- The Mountain. I really hate him. And he just called me by my nickname which is so uncool. Sooooo uncool. I would like to kill him. But I’m afraid it’s really hard to find knives so long that will cut through him and unless I can’t chop him to little pieces I’m not going to bother.
But now I can sneak away, go home, have a dri… No! No drinks today! And sleep. And. Do stuff. No idea which stuff. But stuff nevertheless. Yay!
